Relationships

Keys To A Blissful Relationship - Love alone is not Enough
by Mike Angulo

Being a veteran of two marriages, I can tell you from first hand experience that one of the most significant sources of stress is a negative relationship. It affects your career, your self esteem, your finances, your health and your friendships. However, you can prevent this by having a bit of patience and making sound decisions.

The funny thing is that all couples start out as the perfect examples of a love story, but very often they crash and burn. Why does this happen? Why do we fall in love and out of love so quickly? Why do things work out at the beginning and then end negatively? And, more importantly, how can we attract the right person into our lives? The answer is very simple: We must understand how love works initially and learn to select the right partner using our intelligence.

Initial Stages Of Love

In a new relationship, as part of the normal biological mating process, men and women attract their partners by emitting chemical substances called pheromones. These are transmitted through the air from one partner to the other and produce a sedative effect on each other’s brains. If you feel like you’re walking on a cloud when you first fall in love, you already know how pheromones work. They literally act as a “drug” that clouds our minds and prevents us from seeing the faults in our partner. Unfortunately, these incredible substances only remain in our bodies for a short period of time, anywhere from 2 weeks up to 4 months. When they are gone, reality strikes. And sometimes it hits us like a rock!

Seriously now, that’s when our true personalities emerge and when trouble begins, if the couple is not compatible. Even though they “feel” in love with each other, their differences may be enough to keep them apart. That’s why it is essential to make sure we go through this phase knowing that it’s short-lived and that we must wait to make major decisions, like getting into a long-term relationship or marriage, until after the pheromone phase. At that point, we should begin a detailed selection process to make sure that the person we are with is the person we really want to stay with. If you’re already in a troubled relationship, visit Www.eflexx.com for tips on how to handle it.

The Selection Process

Not selecting the right partner is a wrong decision that could haunt us for years. After a short while, this can result in constant arguments, disagreements and even verbal and physical abuse, as well as the inevitable divorce, with all its legal, financial and emotional implications. All of this can be avoided by being a bit more selective initially.

Normally, people start a relationship on the basis of love, attraction and finances. But, they overlook other highly important aspects such as values and beliefs, which must be shared or at least respected by both partners in order to keep the love alive. It’s equally crucial for each partner to share or respect the other’s views about politics, religion, communication, spirituality, friendship, family, health and fitness, finances, as well as their careers and the way they handle emotions. Other aspects include culture, ethnicity, hobbies, age and intellectual level.

You see, all of these aspects are the basic elements of our lives as individuals. And in a relationship, these aspects should be shared harmoniously between one partner and the other or else the relationship will fail. The idea is not to select copies of ourselves, but to look for traits that are as closely related to ours as possible. We must choose partners that will be our best friends apart from our lovers, so that we can manage adversity easier. Think about it, who do you enjoy spending the most time with? With a friend who shares your views or a friend whose values clash with yours? The answer is obvious, right?

So remember, if you want to save yourself from a boatload of stress, be patient with your next relationship. Do allow yourself to experience that incredibly rewarding emotion called LOVE. But, be intelligent enough to make sure that you select that right someone who will always love you back and treat you like you deserve.

Stress Relief

Got Stress?
by Mike Angulo

The “singles’ life” is synonymous with fantastic parties, freedom, excess and fun. But, have you noticed that stress always gets in the way? Fortunately, modern science has shown that stress is not all negative. You can actually transform it into a motivating DRIVE to fuel your success, simply by learning how to use the incredible power of your mind and learning how to heal your body.

Scientists explain that millions of years ago, humans evolved within a highly predatory environment, in which our brains developed the “fight-or-flight” response (AKA “stress”). This response serves as a built-in “early warning system”, designed to prepare our bodies for action so that we can adapt to our environment. However, it needs our conscious or subconscious mental commands in order to activate either a positive or a negative response. In other words, we can actually program our minds to feel stressed, relaxed or driven.

Let me explain. Let’s say your “significant other” left you. If you choose to see this as a threat to which you need to adapt to, the negative stress response is activated: muscles get tense, breathing rate increases and the bloodstream is flooded with stress hormones such as Cortisol and Adrenaline, which can make you sick and depressed over time. On the other hand, if you choose to see the situation as an opportunity, the positive stress response is activated: Endorphins and Interleukin-2 are secreted into the circulatory system, making you feel great and healthier!

In essence, feeling good or bad, is all a matter of choice. It all depends on how you interpret everything that happens to you. However, physical stressors such as lack of sleep or exercise, too much noise, a bad diet, or an illness, can also cause stress. Unfortunately, anything that affects our body, also affects our mind and vice-versa.

Being single, you experience relationship problems, job stress and financial pressures that constantly activate the negative stress response. If you’re not consciously re-directing your mind and controlling your body, you’re thrown out of balance. The best way to regain it is by getting in shape, physically and mentally. Fifteen minutes of moderate exercise a day, such as walking, stretching, or yoga, helps secrete excess stress hormones, improves breathing and relaxes the mind. There are dozens of other stress management exercises, such as visualization and meditation, which can either relax you or make you feel completely energized! Even a good diet and sleep can significantly reduce negative stress.

You can save time and money by hiring a specialist to teach you the cutting edge stress management techniques. A stress relief life coach, for example, can help you get a permanent handle on stress by showing you how to re-program your mind, manage time better and design a life full of fun, growth, security, connection and excitement.

Work

How to increase CORPORATE PROFITS by reducing employee stress!

by Mike Angulo

Companies across the globe are facing a silent threat. It is one of the main causes of heart attacks in America and it’s eating away at the corporate bottom line. It’s called Stress! According to a survey conducted by Yale University in 1997, 30% of workers are over-stressed. On the other hand, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, it is estimated that a worker will be absent from work about 20 days per year due to stress related disorders.

This means that for a company with 50 employees, with an average wage of $15/hr, and an 8 hr workday, stress costs may add up to as much as $36,000/yr in absenteeism alone! This does not include stress related costs such as: high turnover, reduced productivity, strikes, low morale, lower quality customer service, increased accident rate, higher health costs, etc. If this is the problem, what is stress and how can we deal with it? Stress is what employees feel when they believe they are powerless against problems.

According to Doctors like Deepak Chopra, Chairman and co-Founder of the Chopra Center for Wellbeing in Carlsbad, California, this response depends entirely on a mental interpretation which activates either a positive or a negative response. In other words, people can actually train their minds to feel stressed, relaxed or driven depending on how they choose to see everything that happens to them. When this happens, the “fight-or-flight” response (a built-in “early warning system”) is activated, and their bodies prepare for physical action.

Let’s say your company is facing tough competition. If you choose to see this as a threat, the negative stress response is activated: your muscles get tense; your breathing rate increases; and your bloodstream is flooded with stress hormones such as Cortisol and Adrenaline. If this happens with every little problem, these chemicals can weaken the immune system and create serious health risks over time. At this point stress becomes anxiety and can even turn to depression, which, of course, will adversely affect job performance.

On the other hand, if you choose to see the situation as an opportunity to grow, the positive stress response is activated: Endorphins and Interleukin-2 are secreted into your circulatory system, making you feel energized and healthier! This will in turn improve your focus and productivity. Which reaction do you think will allow you to tackle the problem better? Therefore, if employees are not trained to consciously re-direct their minds and control their bodies when confronted with stress, they’re thrown out of balance and become less productive.

To make things worse, since employees are human beings with lives apart from just work, even if they try to leave their problems at home, any stressors from their private lives will also affect their job performance. The solution is to provide the workforce with the appropriate training to manage their own stress, by using simple mental re-conditioning and re-focusing exercises, meditation techniques, as well as physical relaxation exercises, such as stretching, yoga postures and controlled breathing.

This is essential to maintain a relaxed state of mind which is conducive to creativity and productivity. It is also crucial to train the employees on effective goal setting and tracking techniques that will ensure they are focusing on achieving corporate and personal goals. This will provide a sense of fulfillment in their jobs and will boost overall morale. Hiring a specialist, such as a life coach or a psychologist specializing in stress management, will significantly help reduce the stress problem and related costs.

Typically, the initial investment to solve this situation requires onsite workshops that last anywhere from 4 hrs to 2 days, depending on the company’s needs; This is complemented by the establishment of “Lead Groups” that will ensure the information is disseminated and implemented throughout the company. These are updated through monthly follow up calls with the specialist. Finally, quarterly follow-up sessions keep the momentum going. As you can see, by providing the necessary skills training to “relax, re-focus & take action”, the workforce can not only be able to create a positive working environment, but can in fact reduce employee related costs and increase corporate profits!